Make Time For Yourself

Make Time For Yourself

Over the last six months or so, it is safe to say that my wife and I have been under a bit of pressure.

I’ve been sick with a monster ‘flu – I actually took two weeks off work and spent most of it in bed.

At one point, all four of my family were sick in bed.

Earlier this year, my youngest daughter broke her foot. My oldest daughter has some food allergies that are proving to be challenging. My wife had an eye operation.

I have hurt my back. I’d like to be able to say that I was saving princesses from fierce dragons which is what caused my compressed disc and disc bulge. But the reality is that I was doing nothing in particular…. Perhaps I’m not as young as I used to be.

My job over the last 18 months has been rather unpleasant and most stressful. However, I am pleased to say that I have recently changed roles and while I am really enjoying my new gig, it is very busy and I have more responsibility. And I have to wear a suit and tie.

My wife’s father is very sick and the pain management drugs he is taking to keep him comfortable for the little remaining time he has left are bombing him out. It is very sad.

My wife’s job over the last year or so has also been rather unpleasant and most stressful too. She has recently made the decision to go “casual” in this role – mainly so that she can spend more time looking after her father and his affairs. I fully agree with her. I try to help and support her as best I can.

However, this, combined with the hit to my income in my recent job change, isn’t doing our bank balance any favours.

Meanwhile, our daughters changed schools this year. This has been a big adjustment for both of them and to their credit they have handled it extremely well. My wife and I are both extremely proud of both of them.

We had just decided together on subject choices with our oldest daughter for next year, when an unexpected opportunity at yet another new school has been offered to her. This newest school specialises in music and drama, which is what my oldest daughter enjoys and excels at. She has decided to take up this opportunity, but it has not been an easy decision for her.

Our youngest daughter is getting nervous about moving on to high school next year. And now even more so, given that her older sister will not be at the same school.

It is safe to say that this combination of normal family events – that happen to all families – has involved some laughter and some tears.

Too many questions, big decisions, friendships, unknowns, life, death, worries: all mixed together to cause stress and tension.

So – what have we done about it ?

As individuals, we have made time for ourselves.

We have helped and supported each other to make the time for ourselves.

I have been playing my saxophones a fair bit lately.

I’ve been in a musical theatre show with Nuworks Theatre ; a small independent amateur theatre group based in Melbourne. We’ve rehearsed every Wednesday for the last five months. We had three gigs last week and two this week for our version of “Roaring Girl” by David Dunn.

My band has recently found a new bass player. We’re almost ready to do a couple of gigs now that the new bass player is comfortable with the songs.

I’ve been going for long, brisk walks at lunch time around the parks and gardens near where I work.

I’ve been catching up on episodes of MASH on Netflix where I can.

I’ve been reading books and listening to calming music on the train during my commute.

My wife has been going for walks with friends or by herself. She takes every opportunity to read a book, preferably in bed, whenever she can.

My oldest daughter (almost 15yo) has also been involved with several musical theatre shows with Nuworks – singing, acting and dancing. I am hoping that soon she and I can be in a show together, but given that I am an Embarrassing Dad, she may not be as enthusiastic about this as I am. She sings with the Australian Girls Choir and loves every minute of it. She also relaxes by chatting with her friends using her thumbs and various electronic devices.

My youngest daughter (just turned 12yo) plays the cello. Like her sister and I, she too can get lost in the music. She plays every sport under the sun and loves indoor rock climbing. She is in every sports team at school and has recently discovered the joys of basketball. Dance lessons twice a week are something adores.

(I spend far too much time driving my girls to their various events and I actually love every minute of it.)

Together, my two girls bounce on the trampoline in our backyard when the weather allows. They go into a bouncing and giggling zen-like trance.

We do things together too.

We eat dinner together every evening and share the trials and successes of our day.

The school holidays are coming up very soon. We will probably go to Jamieson (near Mt Buller, three hours’ drive from our house in Melbourne) for a few days, come home and hang out for a few days, then go back to Jamieson for a few more days.

Jamieson is our “happy place”, our designated “nothing to do” place, our “relaxing” place. Fresh air, feeding the birds, walks and adventures along the river and in the Australian bush, an open fireplace in the winter, swimming in the river in summer, sleeping, reading and eating is about it in Jamieson.

Bliss.

The point is that we each deliberately make the time to do something relaxing.

The point is that we help and encourage each other to do the same.

It is not easy !

Competing schedules, competing stresses, competing priorities all make it very difficult.

However, with a bit of effort and planning, it is possible to find some time to calm down and do something that you love…. Sometimes even with someone you love !!

I’m certainly not saying that my family is any better / worse / different than yours.

I am merely mentioning what appears to work for us.

Perhaps you could have a look at your calendar or diary and deliberately block out an hour of “you time” ?

When and how do you fit in time for yourself, to recharge your batteries, to unwind, to do something you find relaxing or love to do ?

Please let us know in the comments below and if you have found the simple concept here in this Calming Music Weekly post helpful, then please share it  🙂

Thanks,

Matthew
Calming Music Weekly

Photo Credits: Alberto! ,  TheGiantVermin , Mike Janssen